Travel Day :" To get GPS or not to get GPS"

Flying to Phoenix I was reading a book about the historical extinction of species in nature as competing for a playoff spot and in sudden death playoffs is very much like a nature show which is a survivor event every day. In the book the raging debate of whether intelligent design is the reason for the remarkable balance of forces in nature or that nature itself continually evolves to survive and prosper. The architect of intelligent design of a deity of sorts and this debate is beyond my range of thought as I am pretty much focused on pitching better and hitting. But as we checked in to get our rental car I was faced with the question as to whether or not to get the GPS system. I pondered the GPS in our car where "Sasha" serves to offer up directions and guidance with such phrases as "In one mile, left turn" or " In half a mile a right turn" and wrapping up she offers " Your destination is ahead". I knew we had directions to the fields so I declined the option but could not help pondering the design aspect and imagined how this conversation will go in a year when the designers get an opportunity to add some zest to "Sasha" and her peers offering guidance. I imagine the conversation will go something like this:

The clerk will sound like John Gielgud ( the "Arthur" version of Gielgud where he served as the English butler to Dudley Moore)

Gielgud: May I offer some suggestions for your selection of your GPS system, sir?

Dave: Sure, what do you suggest?

Gielgud: I can't help but noticing you are traveling with some athletic men and perhaps the Angelina Jolie version will be suitable for you. if I may, I would recommend her British accent version.

Dave: Maybe, Sir John, perhaps you could give me a bit of a preview.

Gielgud: Certainly sir ( cueing up Angelina Jolie Version 2.5 the British version)


Angelina: "Just ahead, my stallion, we need to take a right just after the petrol station"

Dave: ( nodding... enjoying the stallion reference and actually thinking it is personal)

Angelina: ( after a pause simulating the turn) " Well done", "Brilliant", Oh... how I love riding with you- we are getting to OUR destination soon

Dave: Yes, Sir John , I can see this system has its merits.

Gielgud: Ahh and let's not forget the video element, when you start the system you see Angelina on the screen

Angelina: ( voice from video) I am soo glad you are back , My Tiger, where can we go today? maybe just you and me?

Dave: Maybe I will drive her to Alaska like this

Gielgud: Yes these are very popular , we had a fellow fly in last week and he immediately drove home to Long Island. Apparently he thought he forgot something and just drove straight through non stop

Dave : My guess is not many wives get this system for their husbands

Gielgud: No Sir, no wife will leave their husband alone with Angelina. It didn't work for Jennifer and it is not likely to work for anyone else either

Dave: Do you know what system the wives been getting their husbands as gifts?

Gielgud: cueing one up.. the Ted Kennedy has been a popular gift

Ted: ahh we ahh should have aah taken that right back there before the bridge. might be dangerous on that bridge

Dave: Jeez Ted Kennedy driving tips???.... I doubt the Steve Phillips system has gotten much traction lately

Gielgud: No, Sir just a couple of those have sold lately , something about bunny boilers being bad luck and all

Dave: What about when you miss a turn and the system has to recalculate how does Angelina handle that?

Gilegud cues up Angeliana...

Angelina: Oh you clever man, how thoughtful of you to give me a chance to reconsider our best options . Just give me a moment and maybe I can think of a way to satisfy those urges for curiosity
Dave: Wow that might motivate guys to take wrong turns for fun... offhand what do you have that is more realistic along that line of recalculations ?
Gielgud: Well there is the Roseanne system , (Giegud raises his eyebrows), which is a peculiar taste some men have acquired.. (cueing up Roseanne)
Roseanne: ( loud) I TOLD you to take that right but NOOOO you can't even remember that like you missed my mothers birthday and you forgot to bring home the pork sausage and ...
Dave : I think I will pass on Roseanne..
Gielgud: wise choice, sir
Dave: I think we will take our trip with Angelina
Gielgud: You won't regret it, Sir, no one has yet

on to baseball....